Personal safety and self-defense classes should make a person actually safer, feel safer, and feel less fearful.
Fear can make a person more closed off from the world- loathe to trust others, averse to talking with strangers, and hesitant to try new things, be in new situations, or visit new places. Living in fear of violence is one of the more oppressive consequences of violence in our society.
I firmly believe that self-defense and personal safety classes should address that fear. It should alleviate those symptoms. If a safety program makes a person go out less, be more mistrustful, be less open to new people or new experiences, it has perhaps succeeded in mking him/her safer. But it has not succeeded in making that person feel less fear. It has not made his/her life more full or more joyful – and it is not the only means to safety!
To feel and be safer does not require us to feel afraid. We are often told that to be safe, we must feel afraid. However, it is possible to feel safe and be safe.
If a violence prevention or personal safety class doesn’t make you feel safer and less ferful, if it tells you to close off your life even more than you already have in order to be safe, take another one. Closing off is not the only way to get security in this world. It may seem counterintuitive, but we can actually feel more safe and more secure when we open up, once we have some criteria for judging and some skills for defending.