After my IMPACT class, I went from being complacent about my boundaries being crossed to a feeling of “How dare you?!” I felt incredulous that anyone would take from me something that is mine by right. Whether it was my right to speak up and say what I wanted, my right to dictate who touched me and when or how, or my right to feel safe in my own body – I felt the imposition of that person’s (or society’s/media’s) will over my own as truly outrageous.
It was – and is – that sense of indignation or outrage that helps us change things. Without that sense, we don’t know how much something needs to change and how ready we are to change it.
I certainly don’t want to live with outrage as a constant sensation or feeling, but that spark is so useful for making the changes, saying what I need, or removing myself from a situation. It is what precipitates everything that makes it better and gives us a sense of peace again.
It’s rare that I feel it so strongly anymore myself, because I have adjusted the major areas in my life so that I am more comfortable and am treated the way I need to be most of the time.
So, it’s educational and refreshing when I’m coaching students in class and I feel the “How Dare You” on their behalf. It reminds me that this is the place where change starts. This is where we begin to get what we need. Whether it is an outside force or our “inner assailant” crossing our boundaries, the only appropriate and natural response is to say, “How dare you?” When we are able to hear that voice, change is possible.