I discovered a while ago that if I waited until I felt like exercising that it wouldn’t happen as often as I would like. Similarly, if I waited until I felt like washing the dishes, they wouldn’t ever get done.
Regardless of whether someone is a survivor or not, confronting the risk of violence in our lives is not a pleasant topic. So, the impulse to avoid it is understandable, even if our staff do work to make classes enjoyable! For the same reasons we wash our dishes or exercise, taking care of our own safety can be another thing that we do to feel responsible or feel good.
When it comes to IMPACT, there are good reasons to wait until you feel “ready.” If you have experienced violence, you may consider certain criteria in order to decide you’re ready. Being safe in your home and in your relationship (if you’re in one) is a good start. You may also consider how recent the last incidence of violence was; your ability to stay present rather than disassociate; and any input from your therapist, if you’re seeing one.
Sometimes I work out or wash dishes because I love the process, but some days I need the end results to motivate me. This goes for self-defense classes too. What would knowing self-defense or having strong communication skills do for you? Let you go out at night, enjoy a solitary hike in the mountains, feel confident traveling alone, enhance your relationships, ask for that raise you deserve…what else? When do the benefits outweigh the temporary discomfort you are anticipating?